Tragic Soul Page 8

  Between kisses, we gasped and moaned quietly. Ever since someone on our floor mentioned that Paulie and I were loud, we had tamed our volume. However, sex without a condom fueled more emotion for me. Paulie seemed to feel it as well.

  “I love you so much, Crystal.” He groaned as he circled his hips, his fingertips digging into my shoulders.

  I grasped his upper arms tightly. “Love you, too.” My back arched as he started to pump again. “Ah, God!” I gritted my teeth, holding back a scream.

  My entire body seized with a powerful orgasm. We hadn’t had sex since before Chad’s birthday. I needed the release much more than I knew.

  “Fuck. Sorry,” Paulie mumbled. He sighed then pressed his hips to mine. I fought to catch my breath as he came. He shuddered and moaned in my ear. “I’ll—I’ll make it up to you. I—I swear. Just… Gimme a minute… Or two.”

  I closed my eyes and relaxed. He rarely had to apologize during or after sex. His breathing slowly went back to normal as he held me close. I could feel the utter bliss flowing through him.

  When he was still quiet a while later, I asked, “You OK?”

  He nodded, rubbing my neck on his five o’clock shadow. “Fuck.”

  “What?”

  A sigh escaped his lips. “Sometimes, I wonder how I got a girl like you.” He didn’t lift his head. “It’s weird, but you kissing Chad scared me. He has so much more to offer you. I’m just a fuckin’ bartender.”

  I tried to push his shoulders up, but he was too heavy. “You’re not just anything. Paulie, I love you. What you do or all that other shit doesn’t matter.”

  “But, if we never go anywhere as a band, what kinda life can I provide for us?” He hugged me tighter. “I got nothing but musical skills.”

  “Stop it.” I couldn’t believe my ears. He had never been insecure before. “I wanna be with you. And what’s with the ‘provide for me’ crap? I don’t need anyone to support me. If we get married or whatever one day, it’ll be a partnership. Both of us providing together.”

  He finally lifted his head and met my eyes. “I don’t deserve you.” He swiftly pressed his lips to mine, his love flowing freely from him. “I’d fight for you if I had to.”

  “You won’t—ah, shit!”

  He had moved while I was distracted and shoved two fingers into me. “Yeah. Suck my fingers in, baby.” He smirked and worked them faster. “Damn, I came a lot.”

  I cried out loudly, unable to control myself. My hips ground into his hand, seeking deeper penetration. Then suddenly, he had a thumb pressed to my clit as he toyed with my inner sweet spot. I was blinded by the resulting pleasure. My entire body quaked as I thrashed beneath him.

  When I came down from it, I looked up at Paulie grinning. “A bit of you and a lotta me.” He pushed his dripping fingers into my mouth.

  My eyes opened wide at first, but then I sucked on his fingers, loving the taste of our combined juices. He moaned when I sucked on them greedily as if I was blowing him. I had never tasted myself before.

  “That’s it,” Paulie whispered. “Fuck. That did it.” His cock thrust into me again and shocked me. “Feel how hard that got me? Gonna cum in you again.” He buried his face in my hair and whispered, “How do you make me so crazy?”

  At that moment, I didn’t care. He was fucking me into oblivion, more than making up for the previous quick session. I hung on as he set off a string of orgasms in me that blurred together. It went on so long, my legs got tired. When I couldn’t hold them up anymore, they slid off his back.

  “Good timing,” Paulie said as his rhythm slowed. “Fuck yeah.” He groaned loudly and ground into me deeply. “So fucking good.”

  When he gazed into my eyes minutes later, I gave him an exhausted smile. He placed a soft kiss on my lips, then cradled me in his arms again. There were no words needed.

  “Should we get dressed?” Paulie asked after about 10 minutes.

  I shrugged. “Why?”

  “In case Chad and Amy come back soon.”

  How did I forget about Chad? Oh yeah, my boyfriend fucked me into submission, so to speak. “Right. As long as we’re covered up, he won’t say anything.”

  “You sure?” He slowly pulled out of me. “I hate doing that. Why can’t I keep my dick in there 24/7?”

  I giggled, imagining him being able to accomplish that. “You wish.”

  “Hell yeah, I do.” He grabbed his discarded T-shirt and used it to sop up the semen between my legs and on the sheet. “Sorry. I kinda made a huge mess when I pulled out. Shoulda just stayed in that sweet pussy.”

  I laughed a bit louder. “You’re crazy.”

  “That’s why you love me.” He winked and threw the shirt on the floor. “Gimme some room.”

  Still laughing, I slid to the left a bit, and he lay next to me. Then he grabbed the remote and turned on the television. About the time we were settled, the door opened. Paulie quickly pulled the blanket higher.

  “Hey,” Paulie called to Chad as he stepped into the room. “How was your talk?”

  Chad smiled. “It helped.”

  Amy sat on her bed. “Yeah. It sure did.”

  I could tell by the blush on Chad’s face that more than talking had gone on between them in the past hour. “Glad things are better.”

  He walked our way. “I’m gonna head out. Gotta get some work done before I go to bed.”

  “ ’Night, Chad.” I smiled as he stood over me.

  Then he leaned down and kissed my cheek. “ ’Night, baby girl.” His eyes roamed my body, and not too subtly, lingering on my chest. It was obvious he knew I was naked.

  Paulie tensed next to me for a few seconds. Then he exhaled loudly and said, “See ya tomorrow.”

  Chad walked back to Amy and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, too.” He whispered something else, making her smile. “ ’Night.”

  As soon as the door closed, Paulie sighed. “He wants you.”

  “He won’t act on it while I’m dating you.”

  He tugged me closer. “You sure?”

  “Yep.” I ran my fingertips through his chest hair. “You got nothing to worry about.” Amy’s bed bounced and caught my attention. I asked her, “You OK over there?”

  She sighed. “Yeah. I’m great.” She kicked her shoes off. “He’s an amazing kisser.”

  My mouth dropped. He’s a what? Did I hear her right? I couldn’t think of an appropriate thing to say to her. My eyes closed as I tried to erase those words from my brain.

  “That bothered you,” Paulie muttered. “You sure I got nothing to worry about?” His tone was laced with sadness.

  I cautiously straddled his body and looked into his eyes. “Yes. I’m just worried. They’re both rebounding. Is it such a good idea?” That overshadowed the jealousy in my heart at least.

  “Maybe not, but who knows?”

  Chapter 12

  Amy and I were walking the campus on a Monday afternoon after class in late April. It had been just over a month since Natalie dropped Chad. Since then, Natalie hadn’t spoken to me or Chad. Paulie had mentioned that she planned to switch schools in the fall. That was what I feared would happen if I ever dated Chad—our friendship falling apart. It made me resolve even more to never do so.

  On the other hand, Amy and Chad had started to hang out. Only as friends, though. Both knew that going further than that so quickly after emotional breakups could lead to disaster. I had mixed emotions about that. It was nice to see Chad smiling again, but I didn’t want to lose yet another female friend. I had so few of them.

  “Who’s Chad with?” Amy suddenly asked.

  I followed her line of sight. Chad was standing with two dark-haired men about a hundred feet away. They had their backs to us. I said, “I got no clue.” I squinted a bit, hoping to see something familiar. That didn’t work. Then I turned to her and shrugged. “I’ll ask Chad later.”

  “Damn, are they hot,” Amy blurted out, still staring at the men. “Wonder if they’r
e brothers.” Amy sounded interested in getting to know them both. “They kinda look alike.” How she could see them clearly was beyond me.

  I looked their way again but caught both of them facing the other direction. The slightly shorter one was smoking while the taller one waved his hand to clear the smoke from his face. I smiled. It reminded me of Andy and me when he used to smoke. Then I noticed that the smoker was agitated or nervous. He kept moving and waving his hands as he talked. His long hair flew around as he gestured.

  It looked like fireworks were about to start. Chad and the taller one kept putting a hand on the smoker, who continued to shake his head. When the smoker started shouting and pushed the other man, my eyes opened wide.

  Chad intervened and broke up the fight before it could really get started. He physically restrained the smoker as he shouted in Chad’s face. By Chad’s body language, I knew he was friends with the non-smoker. I wondered who it was. He had mentioned several friends I would “never” meet if he could help it.

  “I’m gonna go see if Chad’s OK,” I said before walking his way.

  Amy called to me, “Wait!”

  I turned back. “Somethin’ wrong?”

  She looked at Chad again, then at me. “Should I ask him out? He hasn’t taken things further yet. Enough time has passed already.”

  It was not what I was expecting her to say, but she had been preoccupied with Chad for at least the last week. She asked about him all the time. I sighed, not sure if it was good to encourage them.

  “I wouldn’t today. He looks upset.” I put a hand on her arm. “I’ll be home later. I need to make sure he doesn’t get punched.”

  Just as I started walking their way, the smoker stepped back and seemed to give up arguing. Chad glanced up at me. Then he said something to the non-smoker before jogging towards me.

  “You didn’t have to leave your friends,” I told him as he approached. “I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  He nodded and looked around quickly. “I am. I’m fine.”

  “You look like you’re about to explode. What the fuck, Chad?”

  After taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he took my shoulders in his hands. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.” He looked around again. “Well, not here.” He checked his watch. “What time’s your appointment?”

  My breath caught. I had forgotten why I was looking for Chad in the first place. “Guess I forgot.”

  “You forgot what time?” He looked confused.

  I sighed. “No. That I had one. It’s at four.”

  “Good. We can talk in the van, then.” Chad put an arm around my shoulders. “You gotta promise you won’t say anything to anyone, though.”

  Walking with him, I huffed, “You gotta ask?”

  “If he finds out I told you…”

  “I won’t say anything. I swear.”

  He was silent until he parked in front of my doctor’s office. “I been dealing with this for months, but I promised I’d keep it to myself. Things are escalating. He’s getting outta control.”

  “Who?” I was completely lost.

  Chad leaned his head on the steering wheel. “My friend’s little brother. It’s best you don’t know their names.” He took a deep breath. “His band kicked him out today.”

  “What does he play?” I had no idea why I asked.

  He replied, “Drums. But this has nothing to do with his band. Except he goes to practice high and can’t play sometimes. I really shouldn’t say any more.” He looked up at the building. “You sure you need to get it taken out?”

  I nodded. After back-to-back extreme menstrual cycles in less than six weeks, I knew the IUD had made things worse. I felt guilty that Paulie paid for it, though. That second period was even worse than the first, and it forced me to miss two days of classes. I couldn’t live like that.

  “Yes.” I grabbed his hand. “You saw what happened last time.”

  He frowned. “I thought Paulie was gonna pass out.” He turned to me. “I liked getting to hold you at night, though. Can’t believe Paulie let me stay over again.” His voice lowered. “Maybe a threesome isn’t outta the question.”

  I stared at him, mouth agape. “What?”

  “Shit. I said that out loud?” His face reddened. “Forget it. I was just talking outta my ass.” He slapped the steering wheel. “Let’s go get this over with.”

  My phone rang later as we walked into the medical building. I answered it quickly. “Hello?”

  “How’d it go?” Paulie asked. “Sorry, I had to work.”

  I smiled. “We just got here. It’s not done yet.”

  Chad picked up my hand. “Tell him you’ll be fine. I’m right here.”

  “You hear that?” I asked.

  Paulie replied, “Yeah. Tell me if there’s any issues. I’ll leave if you need me.”

  Just outside Dr. Nickols office, I stopped. “I will. Don’t worry. I’m in good hands. If something happens, Chad’ll let you know.”

  The appointment went smoothly. Having Chad there eased my nerves quickly. There wasn’t any pain. Dr. Nickols had the results of the latest round of tests. My hormone levels had not gotten worse, which was good.

  “You want me to stay with you till Paulie gets here?” Chad asked when we got back to my dorm room.

  I shrugged. “If you want.” I unlocked the door and walked in. It was empty. “We can watch a movie or study. Whatever.” I kicked off my sneakers and hopped on my bed.

  He lingered near Amy’s bed. “Wonder where she is.”

  I glanced at him. He was looking at her things without touching anything. I knew he liked her, but I worried about him dating another girl not his type. Then I tried to figure out what his type was. I sighed, thinking only I really was.

  “Do you think she’d be cool about going on a real date?” Chad asked without looking at me. Then he met my surprised eyes. “Would that be too weird?”

  It took me a few minutes to answer. His question got me thinking. It could be weird. Especially if they slept in her bed. I hesitated, unsure what to say.

  “Baby, we won’t sleep in here or anything,” he assured me. “The night after the concert was awkward enough. I couldn’t do it every night.” He sighed. “Not that I plan on sex. Well, you know what I’m getting at. Right?”

  I nodded. “I do. Ask her.”

  He smiled. “Thanks.”

  A thought crossed my mind. “Has she told you about the dynamic of her and Raj’s relationship?” I worried he didn’t know she was bisexual. Although, I was sure that would excite him; the part about her liking two men at once might not.

  “You mean that she likes chicks, too?” He grinned. “That could be fun.” The blush that colored his cheeks was adorable.

  I tilted my head. “It’s OK. I know you been dying to try that.” He had mentioned it more than once.

  “Yeah, but not at your expense.” He came toward me, then sat next to me. “You gotta tell me if I should back off. I like her, but I doubt if we could get into something serious.”

  I patted his thigh. “It’s fine. Ask her.”

  “Thanks.” He checked his watch. “Wait. It’s Monday, ain’t it?”

  “Yeah.” My eyebrows narrowed as he jumped up and hurriedly took out my laptop. “What’s wrong?”

  Chad opened a browser and started typing. “Nick’s gonna be online tonight. He sounded homesick last week, so I promised to make more time for him tonight. I forgot I was taking you to the doctor’s, though.”

  I smiled as Chad set everything up. Nick had called me twice in the past four months. He seemed fine, but there was a lot going on around him. Once I heard a blast or something in the background. That scared me, but he didn’t even react.

  “Hey, man,” Chad smiled when Nick’s face filled the screen. “How’s it going this week?” He had my laptop on his thighs, tilted so we both could see.

  Nick shrugged. “Busy, I guess.” His tone filled with sadness.

  �
��Something wrong?” I asked.

  Frowning, Nick tilted his head. “Can’t really talk about it. Not sure if they notified everyone yet.”

  Then I noticed small cuts on his face. His arm came into view, and there was a bandage it. My heart started beating faster. I quickly thought of all the ways he could have gotten hurt. A fight, a fender-bender, falling… The list was endless, but I couldn’t stop wondering if it were something bigger.

  “It’s OK.” Chad put an arm around my shoulders. “When you can, I’m here for you. You meet anyone we know over there lately?”

  Nick nodded. “Roger and his platoon stayed here a few nights before moving on to their next post.”

  “How’s he doing?” I hadn’t heard from Nick’s best friend in months.

  With a smile, Nick replied, “Good. He’s made for this. Glad we had some time together.”

  “Need me to send you anything?” Chad squeezed my shoulder. “More bottled water or my mom’s cookies?”

  Nick grinned widely. “Hell yeah. We can always use water, and your mom makes some damn good cookies.” He paused, looking pensive. “Can you send some beef jerky, chapstick, and that drink mix stuff you sent last time? My whole platoon loved it. Thanks.”

  “Sure.” Chad smiled. “Whatever you need. I’ll get it shipped out tomorrow. Any hot chicks there?”

  Licking his lips, Nick quickly glanced around. “There’s this one who’s a mechanic. I love it when she’s bending over into an engine. Sweet-ass tramp stamp peeking out from under her shirt. She’s got the hottest ass.”

  “Nice.” Chad laughed, shaking me as well. “You should come up behind her one day and offer some help.”

  “Mmmm, yeah, slide those pants down and show her what a man is made for.” Nick suddenly blushed. “Sorry, Crystal.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “I’m sure she’d be happy to drop her panties for you.” Several fantasies I’d had about him floated in my mind. My cheeks heated up. They could never come true. “Go for it.”

  “Maybe I will.” Nick’s mood had turned around.