from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1) Read online

  She wished she could be out there with them, but she couldn’t take the chance. When he ran back to his team, she sighed and sat at Marie’s desk. She stared at the computer and tried to figure out the image frozen on the screen. It looked like a man and woman. Then an image of Alex’s arms around her flashed before her eyes. She smiled and fantasized that he swept her off her feet, like in a romance novel, and made love to her for hours.

  A knock on the door made Danielle lift her head. She had no idea she had even laid it down. Sleepily, she stood up. It took a few moments to shake the disorientation. The second knock made her jump.

  “Danielle?” Alex called from the other side. “You OK?”

  She smiled. “Yes.” Then she took a deep breath as the butterflies returned below her waist.

  “Can I come in, then?” Alex smiled at a group of girls who had stopped at the next room. All of them looked him up and down. He glanced down at the towel around his waist. Maybe I should’ve gotten dressed first.

  As soon as Danielle opened the door, her mouth dropped. Alex stood with his hands on the doorframe, practically naked. She scanned his sculpted body and felt a twinge below her waist. The tribal band around his upper right arm moved as his bicep flexed. She had never seen his flat abs and strong chest up close.

  Alex regretted not putting something else on. His cock started to harden as soon as he saw the desire in her eyes. “Um…” He moved his hands over his crotch. “I wanted to see if you’ll go to a party with me.”

  A sly smile involuntarily formed on Danielle’s face. She could see the towel move while Alex stood still. “I, uh… I can’t.”

  Alex groaned when a group of giggling girls stopped behind him. “Please, Danielle. Let me in.”

  “Oh.” She noticed him glance around at the girls and got out of his way.

  He closed the door behind him. “I’m so sorry I’m not dressed. I kinda lose my head when it comes to you.” He sat on Marie’s bed.

  Danielle sat on hers and blushed. Alex had his legs spread, and he was fully on display. “Um… your, uh…” She looked away, embarrassed she enjoyed seeing it. It made her pussy moisten.

  “Oh, shit!” Alex’s face turned red. He grabbed a pillow and put it over his lap. “I’m so sorry!” He looked down. “I wasn’t trying to—”

  “It’s OK.” She couldn’t let him be humiliated for long. “It could’ve been worse.”

  She bit her lip and remembered how it looked. It looked like it would fit just right. When she imagined what it would feel like inside of her, she sighed. She wished she could tell him she wanted another glimpse.

  Alex noticed the faraway look in her eyes and smiled. Maybe she liked getting a peek. “What could be worse than showing you that?”

  “It being small?” She covered her mouth. “Oh, God. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  He smiled, broadly, glad she did. That meant she really looked. Maybe I do have a chance with her. He wished he could take advantage of her comment and come on to her. She wasn’t like other girls. He had to be cautious in how he acted with her.

  “Could you go get me some clothes?” His eyes pleaded with her.

  She met his gaze and smirked. It was easy to imagine him on top of her as he pushed that thick cock into her. Then she shook her head a bit and cleared her naughty thoughts. He had the most amazing effect on her; it was like no one else.

  “Afraid those girls will tear your towel off you?” She giggled and wished she had the guts to do it herself.

  He exhaled loudly. “Yeah. I don’t want other girls touching me…” He hesitated, unsure if he should tell her. “…like I want you to.” He was as subtle as he could be, because he doubted she could handle bluntness yet.

  “Me?” Her eyes opened wide, and her hands started to shake. “Alex, I… I…”

  He took a deep breath. “Hey, it’s OK. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  Danielle stood up. She needed to separate herself from the situation. “I’ll go get you something to wear.” Within seconds, she knocked on his dorm room and watched the hall for Brian’s spies.

  Logan Graves, Alex’s roommate, opened it and smiled. “Hey, Danielle. Alex’s not here.”

  “He’s in my room.” She blushed, not able to get the picture of his erection out of her head. “He needs some clothes.”

  He grinned, and his eyebrow lifted. “Tore them off him, huh?”

  “No!” Her face heated up. She was sure he could see her desire for Alex.

  “I was kidding.” Logan opened the door wider. He also knew to treat her differently. Once, he had also seen Brian grab her. “That’s his dresser.” He pointed to the one near the window.

  Danielle searched the drawers for what she came for. The bottom drawer shocked her. He had a huge box of condoms, along with several bottles of lubricant and massage oil. She hid her reaction to the discovery by holding his clothes to her chest. That meant he was definitely a player. Still, she really cared for him, and she knew he cared for her.

  When she had a shirt, shorts and underwear in her hands, she turned around. “Thanks.”

  Logan put his hands on her shoulders. She shrieked and jumped back. Fear filled her mind. Many of Brian’s friends had been allowed to molest her.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Logan felt terrible that he had scared her. “I would never—”

  Danielle dropped the clothes and rushed out the door. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

  Logan picked them up and followed her to her room, sure Alex had heard her scream.

  “What happened?” Alex asked before he closed the door. He was very concerned.

  “I touched her,” Logan explained, angry with himself. “I didn’t hurt her. I swear. She just freaked out.”

  Alex slowly moved toward Danielle. “Hey, it’s all right. Logan wouldn’t hurt you, either. We wanna protect you.” He hugged her, and she fell into his arms. “Please, let us help you. We’re your friends.”

  Logan saw her hands shake and also saw the terrified look in her eyes. He had no idea it was that bad. Alex ran his fingers through her hair. Then Logan’s mouth opened wide as bruises came into view. That ass Brian abuses her? We have to help her.

  “See? You’re safe,” Alex whispered.

  Danielle clung to him, her hands splayed over his bare back. She wanted to explain that she was never safe. She sobbed and let her fear go just a bit. He was the only one who truly wanted to help her.

  “I won’t let him do it again,” he promised. With difficulty, he forced his anger within, so she wouldn’t fear him. “I won’t let his friends hurt you, either. I have friends too, you know. I’ll take care of you.”

  A shudder racked her body. “He’ll punish me,” she whispered. No one had ever stopped Brian.

  “I’ll break his hands if he hurts you again.” He kept his voice level, something his mom taught him to do when he worked at the shelter. “And then he’ll go to jail. Please trust me, Danielle. Let me help.”

  When she had calmed down, she pulled away and sat on her bed. “Please get dressed.” She loved to feel his not-quite-naked body against hers, but she was also nervous about it.

  Alex turned away as he dropped the towel. He hoped she watched, but he was almost sure she was too upset to peek. He dressed quickly, so he could to comfort her again.

  “Did you see Alex play today?” Logan asked, to lighten the mood. “He’s so damn fast.”

  Danielle looked up. “Yeah, he is.” She looked up at Alex, who was fully clothed. “Do you play on the team here?”

  “No. My parents wouldn’t let me play in high school, and that’s how you get on it.” He had begged many times, but his mom felt it was too dangerous. Once he was 18, it was too late to join for the season, so he joined another sport.

  “They don’t have tryouts at all?” Danielle wanted to encourage him, as he did for her. “You’re amazing.”

  He smiled and sat next to her. “I’m not that good.”

/>   She looked into his enchanting gray eyes. Despite the many times she had seen him, she never took the time to admire them. She had never met anyone with eyes that color before. His hair framed his face when he leaned forward. She could imagine it brushing her face as he made love to her. Ashamed, she blinked her eyes a few times and tried to rid herself of the fantasy. Then she smiled as she remembered him jumping to catch a pass that afternoon.

  “I think you’re incredible. They’d be lucky to have you.”

  He turned to her and touched her face. “You are incredible.” He ran his fingers through her hair, glad she didn’t pull away again. “Through all this, you’re thinking of helping me.” He sighed. “I’ll ask if they have tryouts. OK?”

  “Good.”

  Logan felt out of place. “Uh, I’m gonna get going, guys. I’ll see you tonight. Right?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Alex had forgotten. “Danielle, you wanna come with us to a party? Logan’s fraternity has one every Sunday.”

  She tried to think of a good excuse, but none came to her. “I can’t. I’m not allowed.”

  “Fucking Brian,” Alex grumbled as quiet as he could. “Tell me all his friends’ names, and I’ll make sure none of them come. He won’t find out.”

  Chapter 6

  Several hours later, Danielle nervously got into the passenger seat of Alex’s black Ford Focus. “You sure no one saw us?”

  He closed her door and ran around to get in the driver’s side. “Yes. I had all them all checked out. They’re either at work or home right now. We’re safe.”

  She sighed and tried to relax. “I like your car.”

  “My parents gave it to me when I graduated high school.” Then he cringed. It sounded like bragging. He knew her family didn’t have money.

  Danielle laughed. She had not taken it that way. “I probably would’ve gotten a bottle of vodka. Then I bet my dad would’ve told me to grow up and get out.”

  He furrowed his brows when he realized she said it as if nothing like that ever happened. He pretended he didn’t notice. She would withdraw if he pushed. “You’re dad wasn’t a nice guy either, huh?”

  She looked out the window, determined not to let the memories emerge. “No.” The rest of the trip was silent.

  When Alex parked, he opened her door and held out his hand to help her out. That made her smile, but she was still afraid. She hadn’t been to a party in a long time, at least not one with people besides just Brian and his friends, with her as the waitress or the entertainment.

  Alex looked at Danielle as she grabbed his hand. “You all right?” They walked up the stairs to the house. “Did something scare you?”

  She looked at him. “Brian doesn’t let me go anywhere. He’s going to—”

  He took her other hand in his. “What? You have to tell me. What would he do to you?”

  “He’ll hurt me.” She had never admitted she was abused. Not once had she told him what she would endure if Brian discovered her attraction to him.

  Alex pulled her into his arms and feigned ignorance. “He beats you? You said he doesn’t.”

  “I didn’t say he does that.” She didn’t want him to know. “But… I don’t like parties.” Her thoughts were mixed up.

  He lifted her chin. Her extreme fear overwhelmed him. “You don’t have to hide the truth from me.” He kissed the top of her head. “Tell me what Brian would do if you two went to a party. Please.”

  “He… he…” She closed her eyes. The last LAN party she attended came to mind. “He makes me do things.”

  Alex rubbed her back, dying for her to explain. “What does he make you do? It’s just you and me. No one else can hear us.”

  “He makes me dress slutty, and then lets them all touch me.” She gripped his shirt and bawled into it for a while. When she could talk again, she said, “Then he punishes me for it.” She wished she could take the words back, but she was compelled to tell him.

  He breathed deeply and kept his cool. He started to understand just a bit. Brian was some kind of psychopath. It was why she feared him. Reality meant nothing to Brian. Only his deranged perceptions mattered. It was much worse than Alex had thought.

  “How does he punish you?” He didn’t expect an answer, but he wanted to know.

  Her body shivered as an image of her punishment that night came to her. He had stripped her naked. Then she had screamed as he fucked her on the couch in front of all his friends.

  “Sex hurts so much. Why do people bother?” That never made sense to her. She knew even Brian was in pain sometimes afterward. Anyone else Brian let have her was rough as well.

  Alex froze. What does that bastard do to her? He needed to reassure her. He thought quickly, wanting to say just the right thing. However, he wasn’t sure what the situation really was.

  “Was Brian your first?” he softly asked.

  She nodded and clung to him. Her trust in Alex overrode her fear.

  OK, that makes sense. She doesn’t know any better. He had to show her Brian’s way was wrong. “Sex is not supposed to hurt, Danielle.” He frowned. “Well, it might for girls, the first time. But after that, it’s supposed to feel good.”

  With a shocked look, she glanced up. “It’s not? I thought it had to hurt for a guy to—to cum.” She tried to think of one time sex with Brian didn’t end in pain. None came to mind. It always did.

  “It doesn’t. I’ve never hurt a girl during sex.” Then he remembered the one virgin he had deflowered. Not on purpose, at least.

  He looked into her eyes. How can I convince her to let me show her what sex is supposed to be like? Maybe I should kiss her and see if she let it get that far? He was scared he would push her away, so he nixed the idea. Unlike with most women he was attracted to, he would wait for her. She was something special to him.

  Danielle was confused. Why does Brian get off on my pain? Then Brian’s abuse came to mind. He learned from an early age that other’s pain brought pleasure. His dad always enjoyed their nightly sessions, although Brian did not. Is he so twisted that he inflicts his abuse on me and calls it love?

  Alex hugged her tightly. “You’re shaking. It’s OK.” He kissed her hair, worried he made it all worse. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

  She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. If it weren’t for him, she would still think sex was awful. How can I make Brian see he’s wrong without him knowing I discussed our sex life with Alex? If he knew how much more she wanted to tell Alex, how much she would rather be with a man like Alex, Brian would… She couldn’t even imagine the punishment.

  When other students came up the steps, Danielle wiped her tears and sniffled. “I’m sorry.” It was a soft, meek apology.

  “Hey.” Alex caressed her cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. He did.”

  Alex tried to kill the thought of beating Brian until he screamed, but it was no use. Even that much pain wouldn’t be punishment enough for all Brian had put Danielle through over the years. Alex could see in her eyes that it was even worse than he could imagine. He hoped she would confide in him again. She really needed to get it all out.

  “Let’s go inside,” he urged her and took her hand. “I’ll stay close.”

  The party was loud, with good music. There was a lot of drinking, as at most parties, but Danielle was naive. Brian didn’t drink because of his father’s alcoholism. Alex thought nothing of it and grabbed a beer.

  He pulled her with him to find his friends. When he introduced her to Gary, a football player who lived on their floor, she smiled with familiarity. She had always admired his long, braided hair and bright white smile.

  Gary was a ladies’ man, but he knew to hold back around Danielle. Her eyes showed constant fear. He gave her a wide smile and winked when she blushed. “Hey, Alex, guess what? Coach P. saw you playing today.” That was the school’s running back coach.

  Alex’s eyes opened wide. “Really? What’d he say?”

  �
�He asked for your cell number. Sounds like he’s interested.” He slapped Alex on the back. “It’d be so cool if you played this year.”

  Danielle took Alex’s arm. “Yeah, it would be.”

  Gary gave her a once-over, and his eyebrows went up. He loved white girls with nice curves. Too bad Alex was already after her. He didn’t mess with his friends’ women unless they asked him to. “I know you can outrun Will.”

  After a few minutes of football talk, they moved on and ended up out back. “Just wanted you to see how beautiful it was out here.” Alex led her around the in-ground pool, and then to the screen enclosure that separated it from the backyard. “Some of the guys go kayaking in that lake,” he explained as the large lake beyond came into view.

  “It’s amazing.” The sun had just set, and the sky was a rainbow of colors. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like if she dated Alex instead of Brian. Then she jumped when he put his arms around her from behind. “No. Don’t.”

  He backed up and put his hands on the horizontal support next to hers. “I promise no one will let his friends in. We’re safe here.”

  “It’s not just that,” she tried to explain.

  There was so much more to her fear of being with Alex than just Brian finding out. She didn’t know how to put it in words. Then she realized she led him on somewhat. His support comforted her. She had let her guard down. He obviously had a thing for her. I have to tell him we’ll never be together. It hurt to even think it. However, she couldn’t risk that Brian would hurt him. He already meant too much to her. Wow. I have a thing for him, too. That’s not good. She closed her eyes and stepped away from him a bit more. Her hands squirmed.

  He sighed and realized he had moved too fast for her. She shivered. He knew it wasn’t from the cold. I must be scaring the hell out of her. “Sorry.” He moved to stand next to her and glanced at her outfit. “Why do you always wear pants? It’s pretty hot out this week.”

  She bit her lip and looked away. It was something she never liked to reveal. She usually wore clothes that covered her scars. At least when she chose her outfit. Only Brian and his friends had seen them up close. Then she flinched as she felt the belt hit the back of her thigh. The pain was so real, even in a memory.