Tragic Soul Read online

  “Yep.”

  Groaning, I mumbled, “Like that helps.”

  I racked my brain trying to think of something that was happening in Virginia. The only thing that came to mind was a sold-out benefit show that Gasoline was headlining. No one had tickets to it. It sold out in minutes. It was $200 a ticket, anyway. None of us had that kind of money. I had seen tickets going for $400 or better online after it sold out. That was crazy money, although it was for a good cause—the Wounded Warrior Project. Gasoline was good about doing charity work. It was yet another reason to be crazy about them.

  “This is gonna be fun. Promise.” Chad laid a hand on my thigh and squeezed. Our eyes met for a few seconds. His hand moved higher.

  I stared at his fingers, wondering if he knew how to use them for something other than playing guitar. Specifically, for working a pussy. He and I had never gone that far. Not that I didn’t want to, but it scared me that I could lose him over something like sex or dating. Hurting him was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I couldn’t imagine he and I fooling around and it ending well.

  My eyes closed as Chad’s hand rubbed my leg. I let my legs part a bit more, and his hand moved with the change. Pressure on my clit was a surprise, but I couldn’t open my eyes. He pushed harder, and I moaned softly. I heard a tearing sound, and then his fingers sank into my pussy. I let out a gasp, shocked at how far his long fingers could reach. Then my back arched as I ground into his hand.

  “Baby, you OK?” Chad’s voice wasn’t laced with desire but concern.

  My eyelids snapped open, and I looked around. Chad’s hand was still on my thigh, but his fingers were not inside me. I shook my head to let the image fade. The only problem was my wet panties. I hoped he couldn’t feel the heat between my legs.

  “Did you fall asleep?” Chad patted my leg.

  I chanced a glimpse at him. “Uh, I guess.” I felt my cheeks heating up.

  “You kinda groaned, so I thought your neck hurt or something.”

  “I’m fine.” I looked away, hoping he was oblivious. “We almost there?” I wonder how much time had passed since I last saw the sign for Virginia Beach, but I didn’t want to turn my head.

  Chad moved his hand down my leg. “Maybe another hour.” He paused and chuckled quietly. “Those two are knocked out back there.”

  Curious, I checked behind me. Natalie hadn’t moved. Paulie was using her for a pillow. If they weren’t related, I would be worried. His hand twitched, so I took it in mine and ran my fingers over his skin. Suddenly, he gripped my hand tightly.

  “Ellie,” Paulie whimpered.

  It was not the first time I heard him cry out his last girlfriend’s name in his sleep. I knew what to do. Holding his hand tightly, I reached out with my other hand and rubbed his back. It wasn’t easy.

  Chad surprised me by asking, “Who’s Ellie?”

  “Uh…” I wasn’t sure what to say. Paulie didn’t talk about her.

  Paulie’s sad voice caught my attention again. “Don’t go, Ellie.”

  “He screwing around on you?” Chad was definitely angry.

  I sighed. “No. It’s not that. She’s from his past. Sometimes he has dreams about her death.”

  “Oh.” Chad had obviously not been expecting that answer.

  Paulie started shaking. His breathing was fast, and his expression pained.

  I undid my seatbelt and scrambled to the backseat. “Paulie, wake up.” I shook him, knowing if he stayed asleep, he would wake up screaming. It sounded like the dream where she shriveled to nothing before his eyes, like in an episode of Supernatural. “Come back to me, Paulie.”

  He jumped and grabbed at me. “Ellie?” He faltered for a few seconds, then looked me in the eye. “I’m so sorry, Crystal.” He pulled me into his lap and clung on to me for dear life. “I love you. I swear. I’m sorry.” He shook as his hands stayed in place.

  “It’s OK.” I nuzzled his neck and kissed him close to his ear. “I understand.”

  Chad asked, “You OK, man?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Paulie responded. Then he whispered, “Did I say her name?”

  “Yes.” My eyes closed. It hurt slightly when he dreamt of her, but she came before me. “I had to tell Chad something. He thought you were cheating on me.”

  He sighed. “The truth?”

  “Part of it.” I hugged him harder. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “We need gas,” Chad said as the car slowed down. “You guys can take a walk or something, if you need to. We’re making good time.”

  Chapter 4

  We turned into a mall parking lot in Norfolk. I was beyond confused by then. I had gotten no further hints to where we were going. The place was packed, but it was a mall. I kept quiet. Questions would get me nowhere. Soon, we got out of the car and put our jackets back on. The weather was only a bit warmer than New Jersey.

  Taking my hand, Paulie led the way. I looked around as we walked away from the mall entrance. When we got down to street level, I tried to find something that made sense. We hadn’t gotten far when I saw what looked to be an old movie theater sign that said “Norva.” We were headed straight for it. Then I saw the names on the marquee: Hell Hounds, Brass Monkey, and Gasoline.

  “No fucking way!” I cried out and jumped up and down.

  Chad turned back and smiled. “Told ya.”

  “How?” I was shocked. “It’s sold out.”

  Chad winked. “I have my ways.”

  “Seriously, how?” I couldn’t let it go.

  Paulie squeezed my hand. “Me and Chad entered a contest on Gasoline’s website.”

  I closed my eyes and thought about the contest I had seen. It was open to members only. To win you had to write an essay about what freedom meant to you. First prize was a meet and greet with VIP treatment. Second prize was tickets to the show. I put off entering too long.

  “We came in second,” Chad added. “Cool, huh?”

  I squealed, “Yes!”

  With difficulty, I contained my excitement as we walked inside and checked our coats. I was tugged to a merch table. Paulie bought me a Gasoline tank top. Natalie went with me to the ladies’ room so I could change. Then Paulie tied my blouse to a loop on his jeans. Things seemed to be moving at warp speed compared to the ride there.

  “Mmm, definitely hot,” Paulie whispered as he played with my hair.

  I looked down. The top showed a lot of cleavage. “It’s not too much?”

  “Nah. Perfect for this place. I like guys being jealous of me.”

  With a smile, I reached up and gripped Paulie’s hair, tugging him down. “I feel the same. Any girl would give anything to be with you.” Our lips met, and I hung on, getting into it.

  When he pulled back, he mumbled, “Now they’re really jealous. Come on.”

  The entire show was general admission, and the doors had opened quite a while before. The crowd was loud, making me feel a bit nervous. But I had nothing to fear. Paulie kept me close, and Chad held onto Natalie. We wove through the patrons hanging around the rear of the crowd. Then we started toward the main floor.

  With the two of them leading the way, it was easy to get to the front. Most people looked up at Paulie and Chad and stepped aside. Being over six feet tall with decent biceps had its perks. Only once before had Chad and I attempted to get to the front of the pit at a show. He had not been as imposing then.

  At the barrier in front of the stage, Paulie moved me in front of him, and Chad did the same with Natalie. Paulie’s hands trapped me between him and the metal fence. Good thing I wasn’t claustrophobic. It was for my safety, though. I knew there would be pushing and jostling around us.

  Watching sound checks from below the stage felt weird. It had been almost a year since I had been on this side of the barrier, so to speak. We didn’t need to hold fans back when we played. The crew on stage worked quickly, and I could see some looking out above the crowd as they spoke into headsets.

  When the stage was clear of crewmem
bers, save for one near the drum kit, adrenaline surged through me. The lights went down, and I squealed with excitement. When Dustin, Hell Hounds’ lead singer, appeared, I screamed and jumped up and down. He waved to the crowd as Evan and Billy, the guitarists, stepped onto the stage. It was nothing like seeing them at The Devil’s Fire when we opened for them months before. It was a big stage; a true concert.

  When the first song ended, I tilted my head back so I could see Paulie and grinned. He bent down and kissed my lips. My eyes closed, and the world faded. An arm wrapped around me, and he squeezed my breast, making more cleavage show.

  “That’s the way to do it!” Evan shouted into the mic. “Got us a little show in the pit. Flash us some titty, man.”

  Paulie quickly turned me around and held my face to his chest. I felt him shaking his head.

  “Hey, I tried.” Evan sighed into the mic. “Sorry, guys. Guess it’s time for more music.”

  I knew I was blushing. When Paulie turned me back around, I couldn’t look up. I imagined the entire band staring at me. Then I realized that they probably had tons of women waiting for them backstage. I peeked up at Evan standing nearby and exhaled with relief. He wasn’t staring, he was just doing his thing.

  Hell Hounds' set was over before I knew it. Then their equipment was cleared, and more was moved onstage. Sound checks for Brass Monkey took longer. They sometimes had a piano on stage, but I didn’t see one. Although there were a few things not yet uncovered.

  By the time Tyler, Brass Monkey’s vocalist, strutted across the stage, I felt the crowd press forward a bit. Paulie planted his feet and straightened his back. A hand rubbed my arm as music blasted from the speakers. It was even more exciting than I expected.

  I watched Rob, the lead guitarist, move close to Craig, the hot-as-hell rhythm guitarist. Damn—all of them looked good. James, the drummer, was hard to see from my vantage point, but I saw his hands flying as he played.

  Then Ricky, the bassist, caught my attention. He was fingering the strings quickly. I wondered if I could learn to play that way. The next song, he used a pick and played much faster. I couldn’t take my eyes off his hands. He played as if it came naturally to him, and he obviously loved it. When he moved toward the other side, I realized I had been staring.

  “Get ’em up!” Tyler shouted.

  I blinked my eyes. What’d I miss? Then I shrieked when Paulie lifted me up. He set me on his shoulders and grabbed my hands. Not what I was expecting, but I could see even better. I turned to see Natalie on Chad’s shoulders.

  “Mmm, nice.” Tyler licked his lips as he paced the stage, ogling the girls in view. When he came to us, he winked. “Up close and personal, huh?” He leaned down and growled into the microphone, “How about a li’l ‘Vengeance?’ ”

  I squeezed Paulie's hands and bounced a bit on his shoulders. “Yeah!” It was my favorite song by them. Being so high up, I could even see James giving it his all.

  “Hell yeah!” Tyler stepped onto a crate in front of the stage, then reached out to me.

  I grabbed his hand and screamed. Under me, I felt Paulie laughing, but I didn’t care. When Tyler let go, I was mesmerized.

  “O-o-o-h yeah!” Tyler sang as he continued to watch me. “She was one of a ki—ind. Drove me outta my mi—ind.”

  The words blurred as my entire body vibrated from the bass. The bright lights and screams around me pulled me into another world. As soon as my mind came back to reality, I cheered and sang along. A few times, I turned to see the mosh pit behind us get wider with each minute.

  Suddenly, Natalie slapped my hand that was raised. “Oh my God! This is so cool!”

  “Yeah!” I shouted back.

  Their set ended with their latest single, “Sweetest Revenge.” The song had a great metal beat, but it was also melodious, like most of their popular songs. They were one of the few bands where everyone sang well. The chorus was an amazing display of harmony.

  Before I knew it, the stage was being cleared again. I tapped Paulie’s hand. “I need to pee.” My face flushed when I realized others had heard me.

  “Chad, time to take a break.” Paulie set me on the floor.

  We used the bathroom, got a drink and stretched our legs. Then Chad and Paulie parted the crowd for us again. Soon we were in another prime spot. Paulie braced himself on the fence with me in front of him like in the beginning. My heart pounded as we waited for Gasoline to take the stage.

  The lights went down, and the entire room reacted. Screams, cheers and the crowd behind us surged forward. Paulie’s body pressed against mine. For a few seconds, I was nervous. His arms strained as he kept me from being crushed.

  A powerful, hypnotic drumbeat filled the room. Jon wasn’t holding back at all. The kick drums pounding double-time went right through me. Knowing “Devil’s Boy” well, I squealed just before Tommy hit the first note on his bass. Light suddenly bathed him as he stood to the right of the drum set, and I screamed his name. He was my favorite member of Gasoline, and I wanted to be able to reach out and touch him like Tyler.

  Dominic, who stood on the other side of the raised platform, was also illuminated as he started his part. He and Tommy both walked down the stairs. At the same time, Dean strode out of the darkness in the middle and screamed into the mic. He was hot, but his reputation turned me off.

  I was jumping up and down, no longer trying to control myself. Crying out at the top of my lungs, I had no idea what was going on around me. All I cared about was, my favorite band was playing right before my eyes. We had never been so close to them. It was like a dream come true.

  After the second song had ended, and Dean talked to the crowd, Paulie pressed tighter against my back. He moaned softly as he ground his growing cock into my ass. I looked back at him, leaning down low so he could reach me.

  “Couldn’t resist,” he said in my ear. “Wish it was just me and you. This is making me so hard.”

  My eyebrows scrunched together. “The concert?”

  “Nah.” He laughed. “You so excited, jumping around, your tits bouncing. So fuckin’ hot.”

  Heat flooded my entire body. Desire and bashfulness fought for dominance. “Don’t let Chad see you.”

  “He’s, uh, occupied.”

  I glanced to my left, and my mouth dropped. Chad and Natalie were making out. Their bodies melded together. I quickly looked away. It was not what I expected to see.

  “Staying in the hotel tonight should be interesting.” Paulie snickered, and then cupped my cheek before kissing my lips. “Best girlfriend ever.”

  I smiled, and then turned when “Tortured Soul” began. It was a powerful and emotional song. At one point, Dominic stood on a riser and played all alone. The notes triggered tears in my eyes. I had always wondered who had that much pain inside them. Every measure was as passionate as the last. Someone in the band had gone to hell and back again in their life.

  “Evil Within” came next. That was from the same album as “Devil’s Boy.” Dean and Tommy sang the chorus together. My eyes were glued to Tommy as his voice filled my ears. He seemed to look my way, and I swayed, on the verge of fainting.

  Paulie caught me. “You OK?” he shouted.

  I nodded and grabbed the railing in front of me. Then Tommy started our way, and my heartbeat quickened. When he stepped onto a stationary crate in front of me, I gasped. He was playing furiously, his fingers moving like lightning. The five-string, black and silver bass he held obeyed his every command. He was the most amazing bassist in the world, in my eyes. And the sexiest, too.

  When the last note echoed, Tommy walked back and grabbed his microphone. He quickly returned to his spot near us, and my breath caught. “Tomorrow’s Dominic’s birthday.” He smiled, showing off his dimples. “Everybody gotta sing.” They played the birthday song while the entire venue sang.

  Dominic played the tune on his guitar as he watched the floor, obviously embarrassed. “Thank you!” he yelled into Dean’s mic when it was over. The place c
heered in reply. He retreated to the stairs.

  “So, Virginia,” Dean started, “you ready to close this show out big?” The crowd responded loudly. “Good. It’s time to take you to the ‘Depths of Insanity.’ ”

  I had only heard the song a few times then. It had been released just that week. Their next album was set to release in another two months. I already had it on pre-order. It was dark, heavy and incredible, along the lines of “Devil’s Boy,” and it was perfect to close the show.

  As we walked out of the building, I knew the only thing that could have made the night better was touching Tommy, but that was a fantasy. Reality was holding my hand. Paulie walked beside me, our arms swinging as we walked.

  It was after one in the morning by the time we reached the hotel. I was tired, so after a quick shower, I was in bed. However, the idea of sharing a room with Chad and Natalie had me so nervous, I couldn't sleep. I lay in bed alone, hearing the other bed creaking once in a while. The water had stopped running in the bathroom, so I knew Paulie would be out soon. Whispers from across the room made my chest constrict.

  The bed sank behind me. I hadn’t even heard the door open. Paulie spooned me from behind. My eyes closed as he lifted my nightgown up, exposing my panties. I froze, not wanting Chad to know what was happening. Is he really gonna chance having sex here? When he pressed his body tighter to mine, I felt his underwear and sighed with relief.

  Paulie sighed in my ear as he slid a hand around my ribs. “Can I wake you when they crash?” He ground his slightly engorged cock into my ass cheek.

  “Uh…” I didn’t know how to respond, so I asked quietly, “Why’re we sharing a room?”

  He nuzzled the back of my neck. “This was last minute. There was only one room left.” His breath brushed my ear.

  I shivered, wishing he couldn’t turn me on at the drop of a hat.

  The creaking from the other bed increased. “Not with them right here,” Chad said quietly.

  I knew Natalie was either touching him or asking for sex. Hearing him getting pleasure from someone else would kill me. My fists clenched and my heart pounding, I waited. When, after a while, there was silence, I got up to use the bathroom.